AIDS
by GrandTheftAutumn
Summary: In the first stages of HIV, Quatre tries to find a way to tell his beloved, Trowa. Stage 2: He learns that he can’t fight it, and prepares for death. Final stage: he says goodbye.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: In the first stages of HIV, Quatre tries to find a way to tell his beloved, Trowa. Stage 2: He learns that he can't fight it, and prepares for death. Final stage: he says good-bye.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Gundam characters. Duh.

AIDS Chapter 1 – Sick

It began on December 13, at 10:27 in the morning. I distinctly remember that now. I woke up with my head on Trowa's chest. I had a strange feeling in my stomach, and knew immediately I was going to vomit. I ran to the bathroom, and did the foresaid in the toilet. By the time I was done, Trowa had awoken, and I told him I was sick. He said fine, and went about his daily routine without me.

I spent day one in the bathroom.

Day two wasn't much different. Trowa began to worry about me, but I figured it was just the flu. I knew I had to go see a doctor to get antibiotics, but I didn't like doctors much after everything with the war, so I postponed it.

By the third day, I thought I would be better. Not so. My condition had gotten worse. Trowa was overly concerned about my health, and he dragged me to his doctor so she could look at me.

"Just as I thought," she mumbled nonchalantly, "you were right Mr. Winner, it's the flu. But it's odd…" she added. "It isn't flu season yet."

Nonetheless, Dr. Hiram gave me antibiotics for my flu-like symptoms.

That night we were having an engagement party to celebrate Trowa's finally popping the question. Everyone was there: Duo and Heero, Wufei, Lucrezia, and Hilde. The party went well, and I felt fine, for the most part. But something deep down was troubling me. I had never had the flu before now, and it wasn't even flu season.

Over the course of the next few days, the medication stopped working. My conditioned worsened again, and I was hugging the toilet once more. I went back to Dr. Hiram myself this time.

"All I can suggest," she sighed, "is a blood test. But that's strictly for HIV patients. All we can do is check. I know that you and Mr. Barton are a couple, so it stands to reason that you might be HIV-positive. I hate to have to tell you all that but we could always check to rule it out."

"Okay," I said, "okay, let's do that."

She took blood from the crook of my arm and I left. She said she'd call when the results came back.

The next week came and went with unruly anticipation. I knew I didn't have HIV, but maybe there was something in my blood. There might be another STD that a blood test could detect, and maybe I had passed it on to Trowa. Could I deal with it if I had passed something on to him?

Finally, on December 24, the day before Christmas, while Trowa was shopping, Dr. Hiram called.

"Quatre," she said quietly, "I need you to come in. Your test results are in."

I knew things weren't good, just from the way she said my name. I drove to her office in a hurry, afraid of what I would hear. Did I have HIV? Or maybe cancer? Or another STD? And whatever I had… how would I tell Trowa? Would he still love me? Would we still get married? I was so scared.

I walked up to DR. Hiram, and she had a concerned look on her face.

"What?" I asked. "What do I have?"

"Step into my office," she instructed me.

I did.

"Quatre," she said, "you are HIV-positive."

I left crying. I knew that HIV was the beginning of AIDS. But I couldn't have AIDS. I was at the peak of my life. Maybe I deserved it. I had killed a ton of people in the war, now maybe God was getting back at me.

When I got home, Trowa was there.

"Trowa," I sobbed, "I'm HIV-positive."

I saw two minute tears roll down his cheeks.

"I love you," he said, "and AIDS won't change that."

And despite everything, we made love right there on the living room floor.

There Ya Go. Chapter 1. Chapter 2 will be up before you know it. Review?


	2. Chapter 2

AIDS – Chapter 2

The second stage of HIV came on quick. I had diarrhea everyday, and I started to lose feeling in my hands and feet. But still, nothing came between Trowa and me. We were still engaged, after all, and our wedding day came sooner than we expected. It was our plan to tell everyone the news at the reception. We knew it would sober everyone up, but it had to be done. My sisters were coming, and so were the guys. That was pretty much it.

Anyways, the day of our wedding dawned warm and sunny, much like our dispositions. We were happy to finally be getting married. The great state of New York had just passed a gay marriage law so we would be marrying there. We both wore tuxedos; Trowa's black and mine white. I walked down the aisle slowly, smiling a little at my sisters on my way down.

Trowa and I wrote our own vows.

"Quatre," Trowa began, "I can't wait to spend my life with you. I've loved you since that very first time I met you during the war. You know that. I know we've had our disagreements, but I think we can get through anything. Thank you for being mine Quatre. I love you."

"Trowa," I said, tears filling my eyes, "I can't wait to spend my life with you, no matter how long or short it may be. Not even death could tear us apart, and when I die, I want you to find someone else. Someone who will love you just like you deserve. Someone who will love you like I will. I love you, Trowa. You're the light of my life, and I never want that light to go out."

By our reception, I felt painful sores growing on the sides of my tongue, surely another sign that my HIV was getting worse. It was then that I realized I couldn't fight it. This HIV was going to kill me no matter how much I tried to postpone it. And another thought had dawned on me: Trowa was susceptible to it as well. We had made love many times after I was diagnosed, so it would be a miracle if he hadn't caught it yet.

I tapped on my glass during the reception and a pregnant silence filled the air.

"We have an announcement," I said, barely above a whisper. "Trowa, will you stand with me?"

He did.

"I'm HIV-positive, and Trowa has been exposed to the disease."

A gasp shuddered through the small room, and an anxious silence followed.

"Quatre!" my sister, Nina, breathed. "How?"

"I'm led to believe it was a sexual encounter I'd had during the war," I said, ashamed.

The remainder of the reception was a somber occasion, and then Trowa and I went home. I cried on his shoulder all the way.

"My sisters," I bawled. "Did you see the looks on my sisters' faces? They were so ashamed of me!"

"No they weren't," Trowa assured me. "They're just concerned. They love you, Quatre. I know they do, and so do you."

"Yeah," I sniffled, drying my tears as we pulled into the driveway, "I guess."

"Come on, Quatre," he said, "let's pack up for tomorrow."

So we packed, and we had fun while we packed. For the first time since I was diagnosed-two years before-I laughed. And we left the next day for Paris. We had fun on our honeymoon, and while we were there, I let myself feel alive. Because I knew that, once this disease took a tight hold, I would no longer live. I would just exist until it took me away from the man I loved.


	3. Chapter 3

AIDS Chapter 3

The final stage of my HIV and now AIDS came slowly but surely. I knew that soon I would have to say good-bye. I knew I was dying, and I had a hard time accepting it. But when I did, Trowa was there for me, wholeheartetdly.

"Trowa," I sobbed, "I'm dying. I know it. I can practically feel my body shutting down."

"Shh," he shushed me. "Everything is gonna be all right. I promise. You know why?"

I didn't.

"Because I love you."

"I love you, too," I sniffled.

We then shared a deep, sensual kiss.

In the later months of my final stage of HIV, I developed Kaposi's sarcoma, which are sores, all over my body. I started chemotherapy, and I lost my hair. The chemo made me sick enough, but then came flu season. Sense my immune system was shot, I think it's obvious to say I was more susceptible to influenza. I woke up one morning, knowing this was it, my last day on earth.

I dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen.

"Trowa," I managed, "I need a doctor."

And I collapsed right then and there.

I awoke in the hospital, being wheeled to a room in the ER. I heard Trowa's voice somewhere far-off.

"Quatre!" it screamed. "Stay with me! Don't die on me!"

Finally I saw his face, and the other guys' faces as well.

"Quatre," Duo said, "you'll get through this."

"No," I breathed, "I won't. Good-bye, all of you. I love you all."

And I closed my eyes.

Three months later…

"Trowa," Dr. Hiram sighed, "you have AIDS."

Authors note: And it begins again! R&R


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